Why "shrekking" is the new toxic dating trend

A new trend in relationships is gaining popularity among young people: shrekking. It involves a person intentionally choosing a partner who is "worse than themselves." This allows them to feel superior and gain psychological control over their significant other.

Learn how it creates unhealthy power dynamics, according to Psychology Today.

What is shrinking, and why is it dangerous?

Psychologists explain that choosing a partner who is "worse" in certain qualities, such as appearance, wealth, or status, indicates that a person is trying to assert their superiority over others. Such a union is often perceived as an easier life that does not require compromise or hiding one's shortcomings.

However, this tactic is doomed to fail. Psychologists note that the belief that a partner will feel "less worthy" is an illusion. In reality, everyone has their own perception of themselves. People often evaluate their own personality differently, and this evaluation can differ radically from the opinions of those around them.

Additionally, life is subject to constant fluctuations. Psychologists emphasize that status and attractiveness can change quickly. This makes it difficult to achieve balance in a relationship. Therefore, a strategy based on the idea that a person is "worse than you" and will therefore always be by your side is doomed to fail from the beginning.

Infidelity can indeed work, but only when both partners are aware of it. At the same time, they stay together for certain benefits. For example, they may stay together for financial stability or status. However, if you want a happy, lasting relationship, shrinking is definitely not the tactic to follow.

Read more:

Love isn't enough — the psychology behind strong relationships

Why most marriages end — the real reasons behind divorce